Yes, I'm getting married young. Why does it matter?

     This post may seem rant-ish, but I promise my intentions are good. I haven't been posting lately because between wedding planning and finals my life has been chaos. However, I decided to take a break and write because this is an issue VERY close to my heart and very applicable to my life. For anyone who doesn't know me well, I am 20 years old and in one month I will be married to the man of my dreams. We have known each other a year. Lately, I have heard and read so much criticism on young couples marrying and also couples marrying before they have dated for at least 2 years. Here are some of my "favorite"  remarks:

"You better live it up while you are free."

"You didn't even have time to enjoy college or your life yet."

"You're getting married already? Didn't you just meet him?"

"What's the rush? You have your whole life to be married."

"60% of coupless married under age 24 will divorce."

"You're too young."

"You should wait a couple years, you don't even know him."

"Are you ready to get married? You're still a kid."

    I am not even joking a little bit when I say that I have been told every single one of these-- to my face. I don't care when you get married or how long you waited because it is your relationship and not mine. We should not criticize. I could pull out all sorts of studies and stats saying that waiting til later in life to get married can be failure prone, but I don't because statistics don't form relationships. I am no saying that getting married young or quickly is better, but rather who are you to criticize others choices?
     No matter how old you are, marriage is a risk. You are committing yourself 100% to someone without knowing the future. But if you make a decision that you trust, you should not doubt yourself. If both of you work hard for your marriage or relationship, you will succeed.

     I am excited to get married young because...

I get to love my sweet fiancé even longer. I was fortunate enough to meet him quickly. There is no reason to wait when we both love each other unconditionally and are working towards the same goals and following our dreams.

I get to grow with him. This happens in all marriages, no matter the age. But for me, I get to decide and develop a lot of how I act and who I become with him. Please do not mistake this as "she is giving herself up to be married." Nope. Not even close. Marty supports me in all that I do. I love art and books, he loves guns and movies. We have different passions that neither of us expect each other to give up for marriage. What I am implying is that because we are not set in stone in our ways, it will be easier for us, personally, to adapt and grow as a couple. We are separate people, but we are very much one unit as well.

 I get to do everything with someone I love, why wouldn't I want it to start ASAP?

I get to establish roots. Sure, living carefree with your friends is fun. But for me, that is not fulfilling nor what I want. I want security. I want to establish a permanent relationship and begin my grown up life. In my circumstances was forced to grow up quickly because I was forced to deal with grown up things. Maybe that's why I have no problem getting married young. But personally, I believe that it is because I know that families are the most essential part of life and to me, that is the most important thing.  I am eager and excited to begin this new journey with the best guy I know.

I love him. Never have I met someone who believes in me so intently. Someone who wants me to succeed so much and who will support my dreams, no matter how crazy they are. Of course I want this support that marriage offers.

I get to be young and crazy with him. Ok really though, crazy for Marty and me is extra hot fudge on an ice cream sundae or walking around aimlessly because we can. But... We are young, so we can wait to have kids if we please. There is no rush, so we can have all the adventures we want before we decide to bless our lives with extra little toes.

 

 

     So if you must, go ahead and continue to bash on young marriages-- privately. I'm not a statistic and I'm not a research number. Marriage is marriage, and people should be able to marry at whatever age they please- whether it be fresh out of high school or when they are 80. Either way, marriage is a beautiful thing and should not be addressed in a condescending way- ever. If you hate marriage and don't want to get married or you are so set in "living it up" be my guest. Do whatever makes you happy, just please do not attack my choice to start a life with someone I love more than anything when I am still young. It is my marriage. Her marriage. His marriage. Their marriage. I mean this in the nicest way possible but- stay out of it. Its not your choice (: